One of the reasons I don't feel fully ready yet is that I've not been so diligent with practicing my relaxation and breathing techniques that I hope to use for the birth. With Owen we had just finished our whole HypnoBirthing class, so I felt very confident in the methods and what was to come. The second time around we haven't taken any classes (nor do we think we need to). But I have not been so great about putting in the time to practice, which is critical to the success of the HypnoBirthing program.
I think HypnoBirthing gets a bad rap or often gets laughed off as a joke because people associate it with "stage hypnosis" - live shows where a "hypnotist" puts audience members into a hypnotic state and makes them do embarrassing things like quack like a duck or kiss the stranger sitting next to them. This kind of "hypnosis" has nothing to do with HypnoBirthing.
The practice of HypnoBirthing, when done successfully, does relax the mother into a self-hypnosis-type-state. But she is still alert, awake, and totally in control of her actions, emotions and thoughts. Its more about being able to put yourself into a state of total relaxation than it is about being "hypnotized."
The philosophy behind HypnoBirthing is that natural childbirth doesn't have to be the agonizing, scary and dangerous event that it is often made out to be. The premise is both physiological and psychological, and is based on the theory that in the absence of fear (and/or some modern medical interventions/ideas), women's bodies are totally capable of birthing babies calmly and with little-to-no pain. A quote from a Dr. Jonathan Dye (from 1891) that is used in the book states:
"According to physiological law, all natural, normal functions of the body are achieved without peril or pain. Birth is a natural, normal physiological function for normal, healthy women and their healthy babies. It can, therefore, be inferred that healthy women, carrying healthy babies, can safely birth without peril or pain."
The book states that "our bodies instinctively know how to birth, just as they know how to conceive and nurture the development of the babies they are carrying." Which, to me at least, makes so much sense! One of the goals of the HypnoBirthing program is to help mothers embrace their body's innate knowledge of birthing, and to help her relax into the birthing process and work with her body and her baby, instead of against it.
I did have a natural birth with Owen, but I will not even begin to claim that it was pain-free. I honestly and sincerely feel that the seriousness of the situation (his arrival 6 weeks early) set in as soon as I walked into the hospital at Providence, and most of what I had learned in my HypnoBirthing class went out the window. I was terrified. But I still managed to "get through it" as naturally as possible.
But it hurt. Real bad. However, I do think that the HypnoBirthing class and breathing and relaxation techniques were at least a great coping mechanism for me. As was all of the stored knowledge about childbirth being a normal, natural process that I knew my body was capable of handling.
With this soon-to-arrive baby I'm currently cooking we are hoping things will be even better. A few factors that are easing my mind:
1. Henry Ford's system of midwife care. Regardless of when or how I go into labor, a midwife is AT the hospital of all times. And since we met all of the midwives at the hospital tour, I know that the woman caring for me and the baby will be a face I recognize and someone I have spoken with. When I was triaged with Owen, I had to deal with residents and OBs who I'd never meet/seen/spoken to before, which added to my stress level (as did all of the questions they kept asking me, disregarding my birth plan completely).
2. The hospital is totally HypnoBirthing and natural-birth friendly. Not just the midwives, but it appears that the nurses and the rest of the staff are open to the idea and to the mother's requests.
3. We've kept a real close eye on this baby. I think a lot of the fear and anxiety I felt when in labor with Owen was heightened by having very few, scattered appointments with a bunch of different doctors throughout the pregnancy. Being a natural-born-worrier, it has helped me tremendously to keep such a close and watchful eye on this baby girl (ultrasounds every 2 weeks for the majority of the pregnancy), so I know she is healthy (maybe too healthy - I still have a minor fear that she's going to be huge). (Also, I'm aware that all of the extensive prenatal care and tests and ultrasounds are contradictory to a "natural" pregnancy experience, but it helped me, nonetheless).
4. I've already had an epidural (when I had the cerlage placed at 18 weeks). I think I've mentioned several times that I'm generally more terrified of a needle in my spinal cord (or wherever they stick it) than I am about the birthing. And while I do NOT want to do that ever again, I do feel some comfort knowing that I've done it once, so if medically necessary, I know I could do it again.
5. I know what to expect (as much as one can). A lot of the "fear" of childbirth goes away once you've done it once! I understand what the surges (contractions) will feel like and how the breathing techniques will help me work with those surges instead of against them (pushing = not as helpful as one might think).
I think it's unfortunate that modern medicine (and modern television, for that matter) has convinced so many women that they need pain medication or to "schedule" their birth instead of letting things happen naturally as they were intended. When hearing that I had one natural birth and am planning for another, I have had women tell me that I must have a really high pain tolerance, or that my birthing must have been much easier than theirs because there's no way they could have done it without the drugs. And I would never deny any woman those thoughts or opinions, because I have only my own experiences to go on. That being said, I really do believe strongly in the power of the body to do it's thing without much intervention. Women have been birthing their own babies since the beginning of time without drugs or forceps or someone standing over them yelling at them to "push!"
And while I will continue to practice my breathing and relaxation techniques and preparing for the birthing experience that we want to have, I am, of course, keeping an open mind about how things will go on the actual day. You can plan for the exact birth that you want and do all of the necessary planning and preparation, but you just never know what will happen on the day of, so we're trying to keep an open mind.
Now if only I could get the curtains hung in the baby's room. Then I'd REALLY feel prepared. :)
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