Friday, October 28, 2011

Hypnobirthing, Part II.

Well, apparently when I said I'd try to post "sporadically," that meant: "probably never." Turns out when you have a newborn and a toddler, and nobody is actually paying you to blog, it gets moved pretty quickly to the back burner. However, I came across my Hypnobirthing CDs today while cleaning out the desk, and it reminded me that I wanted to share a bit more about my experience with Hypnobirthing, and that I had already started writing this post a couple weeks back, so I should finish it up and post it already.

In this post back in August I wrote a bit about the whole Hypnobirthing concept, which I have now utilized for the births of both of my kids.

And as much as I'd like to report that because of Hynpobithing both of my beautiful children arrived in this world without me experiencing an ounce of pain, that would be a bold-faced LIE.

I'm not convinced that using Hypnobirthing methods will allow a mother to give birth with little to no pain. But I am convinced that this method allowed me to have the birth experiences that I wanted (as much as was possible, any way). Part of me thinks that I might have still been fighting against it - allowing myself to be fairly consumed with fear and anxiety throughout both labors, even if I wasn't outwardly showing it. But I did my best, and it worked for me. I actually feel like by the 4th or 5th birth, it might just work as well as I've seen in the videos and read in the books. But, alas, there will be no 4th or 5th (or 3rd, for that matter) birth for me to find out (which I'm totally okay with).

That being said, I was definitely more comfortable with the concept the second time around. I knew what the contractions felt like (talk about it all "coming rushing back" to you), and how they would continue to intensify until the baby was born. I also felt more confident that yes, my body can do this - it's already done it once before!

I think one of the most beneficial aspects of Hypnobirthing for me were the "affirmations" that I read and listened to on my ipod during my practice sessions. Here is a link to them on YouTube (note, this isn't the official Hypnobirthing Institute recording, but it is the same affirmations being read by someone else). I was skeptical at first, as it was awkward for me/us to listen to something like this. It just felt... weird, and kind-of new-age-y. But I swear it works. The more you listen to it, the more you start to believe it. During the final hour of Lyla's birth, I was seriously reciting some of these affirmations to myself, reminding myself that my body and my baby knew what to do. And it really did help me through that last hour of contractions.

Another thing that helped me through those contractions? Eric and my mom. Once again the two of them were my support system throughout the labor and delivery. They joke that it's a very special bond that they don't ever really want to talk about ever again. Seeing as how together they spent a good half-hour (or more? I lost all sense of time) literally holding my legs and staring at that part of me where the baby comes out. AWKWARD. But I couldn't have done it without them. I think they would both agree that they had it easier the second time around. First, my labor was shorter. Second, I think I did a better job of relaxing and breathing through the contractions the second time (at least I wasn't yelling at my mom to put fresh heat packs on my back or get cool rags for my forehead for hours on end). But they were both there, quietly supporting me and Lyla as we labored.

The main benefit of Hypnobirthing for me was learning the best way to breathe through the contractions. The ultimate goal is for your whole body to be totally relaxed during and between the contractions, so that the only energy you are expending is focusing on the contractions and "breathing up" with them to make them as beneficial as possible in opening up the cervix.

I did this for a while, but towards the end I couldn't get the rest of my body to totally relax. I needed to do SOMETHING other than just lay there. What ended up working for me was holding on to Eric's forearm with each contraction, using one arm to push, and one arm to pull to sort-of "engage" my upper body. It sounds weird, but I felt like I needed to brace against the contraction a bit, in order to keep the lower half of my body relaxed. For whatever reason, that really worked for me. And later on during the delivery when Eric was otherwise occupied helping me elsewhere, I used my mother to brace against - I think at one point I had my arms wrapped around her waist! But hey, whatever gets you through it.

So in the end, I would say that I am totally satisfied with my decision to use Hypnobirthing practices during both of our birthing experiences. It helped prepare me mentally, each time, for the birthing process, and I would recommend it to anyone interested in a relaxing (as possible), natural birthing experience.

And here's another adorable reminder of the end product:


Lyla had a rough first month of pretty-much non-stop crying. But after we made some adjustments to her feeding schedule and figured out how to better meet her needs, she has been a dream. She's our smiley, happy girl and has brought so much love and happiness to our family. Owen loves to sing to her and make her smile, which makes me melt it's so dang cute.

Our monkey-man (Owen) has adjusted pretty well to our new addition. I might try, between feedings and baby snuggles, to write a little bit about that experience at a later date. It has been more taxing on me, emotionally, than I thought it would be, but I think the worst of it is over... (famous last words?).

Happy Holidays!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

At least you get a baby for it.

During my pregnancy with Owen I was venting to my cousins on our daily e-mail chain about the aches and pains of pregnancy, which led one of them to say: "Pregnancy sounds hard - at least you get a baby for it!" And this pregnancy was most definitely hard, but, on October 6th we DID get a baby for it. Lyla Jean Prowse was born on October 6th, at 7:18 a.m., weighing 8 lbs, 10 ounces and measuring 21 1/2 inches long.


So after 5 months of worry and bed rest and freaking out that she would arrive WAY too early, she ended up arriving ON her due date (something we're told rarely ever happens). At 1 a.m. on the 6th my water broke and instantly woke me up. I'd like to attribute her punctuality to all the mother/daughter conversations I'd had with her about arriving on time (I had a serious fear of giving birth to a 10 pound baby). But in actuality I give credit to the dozens of doctors appointments that tracked her growth and due date, and possibly the Evening Primrose Oil and Red Raspberry Leaf tea I'd been consuming for the 2 weeks prior to her arrival.

I should preface this by mentioning that at my weekly appointment on the 5th, I finally had Trish check me and was THRILLED to learn that I was dilated to 4 and more than 90% effaced. Trish said that she'd be shocked if I didn't go into labor before the weekend was out. Little did we know I'd go into labor that night. She advised me to do some activities that required me to be on my hands and knees (minds out of the gutter, please), like scrubbing the kitchen floor, to try and get the baby to flip down into the right position. She was on her side on Wednesday morning, which wasn't a serious concern, but was something to try and remedy. So Wednesday afternoon I got on my hands and knees and weeded my entire front yard. I think it did the trick.

After my water broke I called the midwife on duty at Henry Ford (and was glad it was Amy, who works in the Troy office with my midwife Trish, and who was my midwife when I was in for the cerclage procedure). She advised me that, given my stats at my appointment the previous morning, that I quickly arrange for childcare for Owen and start making our way in. By the time I hung up the phone with my cousin Lauren to have her come stay with Owen, my contractions were already about 6-7 minutes apart and intensifying pretty quickly.

Eric flew to the hospital. I don't even know how long it took because I spent the car ride eyes-closed working on my deep breathing and relaxation exercises. Oh, and on trying not to throw up.

My parents were already at the hospital when we got there. I couldn't even talk to my mom on the wheelchair ride up because of the intensity of the contractions. And they weren't even that bad yet! When we checked in they put us in a triage room, only to move us 10 minutes later when it was decided that yes, I was definitely in active labor (duh).

They were kind enough to fill up the big jacuzzi tub in my room before we even got there - something I had been looking forward to with this birth. Too bad once we got to the room all I wanted to do was lay on my side on the bed and not move so I could focus on breathing through the contractions. The staff were great about giving us our space and privacy. I was able to lay in the quiet with just my mom and Eric throughout most of my labor. And I was free of all monitors and IVs. Someone would come to check on us every half-hour or so, and when they did they were SO respectful of my hypnobirthing methods and wouldn't talk to me or touch me until I signaled that the contraction was over and I opened my eyes. The majority of my labor was quiet and peaceful (note: peaceful does NOT equal free-of-pain), which was just what I had wanted.

And then, sometime around 5 a.m., I lost it. I looked at Eric and said: "I think I might want some drugs. I don't think I can do this again. Is that horrible?" I think he was surprised, but obviously told me he supported whatever I wanted to do. Except I think deep down we both knew I didn't really want any drugs, because I didn't really push it, and didn't ask again. And when Amy came in to check me and told me I was almost 8 centimeters, and that it was really too late for most kinds of drugs and that this baby would be on her way very soon, I felt relieved and excited because I knew it was getting close.

Towards the end of my labor when the contractions were at their most intense I felt Lyla start to move around (which adds a whole new level of pain to the contraction). I remember saying: "Make her stop moving! She's killing me when she squirms around!" And Amy saying that it was GREAT that she was moving, because she was moving down and out and would be here soon.

And then my midwife Trish came on duty just before 7:00! She was mad (jokingly) at me that I hadn't e-mailed or called her to tell her I was in labor (she had said all along to let her know, and that if she wasn't busy, she would come in). I explained, in the midst of giving birth, that I hadn't wanted to wake her up in the middle of the night - to which she replied: "but that's my JOB!" She's the best. And Amy, who was my coach, therapist and voice of reason for the entire labor, was gracious enough to let Trish "catch" the baby, since she also delivered Owen. The two of them made an awesome team in the final half-hour of the birth, and I feel so lucky to have both met them and chosen them to be there for the Lyla's birth.

I mentioned that I wasn't on any kind of monitor, but when the time comes for the baby to start working her way out, they start hand-holding a monitor to your belly every few minutes, just to keep track of the baby. I knew something was up when they were debating whether the heartbeat they were picking up was mine or the baby's. And I also sensed the heightened anxiety when they determined that it was, in fact, the baby's, and therefore it was way too low.

Trish informed me that I had "2 more contractions to push this baby out" otherwise she was going to have to cut me and pull her out because she was in too much distress to stay in there any longer. Uh, YIKES.

So I pushed and pushed and pushed. And after the second contraction she still wasn't out. So I had to keep pushing. Sans contraction. And there's really no way to explain this to someone who hasn't felt the sensation of a contraction causing your body to bear down and "push" out a baby. But your body needs the contractions. Its what does most of the work in getting the baby out. Without it, it's just your puny little muscles trying to force the baby out. Which is... HARD. And painful.

It was a straight-up TV/movie style birth. In that everyone was yelling (albeit very nicely) at me to "PUSH PUSH PUSH, PUSH one more time! Come on, push ONE more TIME! Keep PUSHING!" Which is definitely NOT in line with a Hypnobirthing birth, but was necessary to get Lyla out safe and sound (and fast).

And about 2 very intense minutes later, she was out.

And sweet, sweet relief followed. Not only do the pains of labor stop instantly, but there was now a wriggly, healthy, perfect little girl squirming around on my chest. I wasn't afforded that experience with Owen, as he was whisked off to the NICU minutes after his birth, and man am I glad I got to experience it with Lyla. We just laid there and cried tears of joy (well, hers were probably tears of: "Where the hell am I and why is it so COLD!?") But mine were tears of joy.

She stayed on my chest for probably 20 minutes (I think?, time became a little fuzzy at that point) before they took her to get her measurements and stats. Mind you she never actually left my room, they just curtained off half of it so that Eric and my parents and brother could be with her while I was getting stitched up and what not.

And holy lord were there some stitches (sorry to any of my guy friends or coworkers who might be reading this). But since I was basically forced to push her out probably a good 20 minutes before my body was really ready, I had some heavy-duty damage. So bad, in fact, that it required a surgeon to come down and stitch me up - something that is usually Trish's job (she handled it when Owen was born, but "the damage" was much less severe).

But, again, at least I got a baby for it.

And they let us come home the next day! Again, so different than with Owen, who was in the NICU for 8 days after arriving 6 weeks early. And with his birth I ended up getting an infection (I'm sure from the residents continually "checking" me once my water broke), so I was on IV antibiotics for a few days at the hospital before they let me go home. It felt weird to come home so quickly, but also pretty wonderful. And now, 12 days later, it feels weird to think that she everwasn't here in our home.

So. The purpose of this blog was to document our ridiculous summer of bed rest and a new (old) house. The bed rest is clearly over, and I think we're done making major improvements to our house for the season - although we have some big plans for next spring/summer when we can finally tackle the OUTSIDE of the house. I do have a few more things I want to share about both my experience with hypnobirthing as well as the experience of bringing home a new sibling for Owen (which has been... challenging). A few people have asked me to keep the blog going... I think I'll probably keep it up through the holidays - until I go back to work in January. So look for a few (probably quite sporadic) posts between now and then.

And thanks again to everyone who has been there (and continues to be here) for us during our tumultuous summer. We truly could not have survived it without the generous help and time and love of our friends and families. We love you all.



Monday, October 3, 2011

I finished your blanket. You can be born now.

So I started this baby blanket waaaay back when I first went on bedrest, and wrote about it in this post. And I promptly forgot about it. Actually, that's not entirely true. I did catch a glimpse of it every now and again and felt a bit of anxiety about not working on it. But, truth be told, it is actually really hard to knit when you're laying down. So since the cerclage was removed, and I've been much more upright, I've been knitting away, and finished the blanket last week.




It was a pretty simple pattern, knit on the diagonal, and I think it turned out pretty nice. There are a few little blemishes that I had to repair after the fact, but I'm betting she won't notice. It's super soft and I can't wait to wrap her up in it when she gets here!





And because I have fallen in love with these from Etsy, I decided to make some myself. I couldn't find a good pattern, so I just winged it with a garter stitch and some cheap Lion Brand yarn in a really pretty purple/pink blend.




They look a little weird and remind me of elephant trunks (like on a really pretty elephant). But I think once on a teeny tiny pair of baby legs, they will look adorable. At least worthy of taking a few cute photos in. And for a $5 skein of yarn, that's really all I'm looking for.

And since I realized the only photos of the baby's room I had shared so far were a few on Facebook from my iphone, I snapped a few more today. This is a shot of the room from the doorway.



THIS, is my grandpa's old glider, that my grandma gave me when I was pregnant with Owen. Before we put it in baby girl's room, my fantastic Aunt Sue sewed a new cover for it with some fabric I picked up at JoAnns, and we couldn't be happier about it. It's like a whole new chair. Except it's really an OLD chair, and I love all of it's creaks and clicks it makes when it rocks - reminds me of when Owen was a baby.



The baby's shelf is half of the shelving that used to be in Owen's room. Now he has half and the baby gets half, which worked out great. Thanks to my dad who built these awesome shelves for Owen's room at the old house! (And yes, that's a Precious Moment's ballerina doll that was mine when I was little. Awwwwww).



We have a few frames hanging, but I may add more to it over time. Right now they are some photos of Owen and Hudson, a drawing my cousin Lindsey bought for me from an artist in Taiwan, a flower print, a framed piece of damask-patterned scrapbook paper, and a really pretty card my friend Donna sent me from Norway with the verses of a Norwegian children's song (love).



The yellow flower mirror was mine as a kid. It lived up north at the cottage for a long time after that, until I stealthily stole it back a couple of years ago. And this is the antique dresser (that also used to be mine) that I primed and painted white. Turned out pretty good!



There's a little wood cradle on the floor under the window in the first photo, which was/is also mine from when I was little. My dad made it for me when I was 9 for my dolls, and my parents gave it to me for Christmas in 1988. I LOVE that I get to pass this down to baby girl.



And that's Monday. At my appointment with my midwife tomorrow I plan on asking a bazillion questions about what she does and does not recommend in terms of trying to naturally induce labor. My due date is Thursday, which is in 3 days. We are still totally baffled and dumbfounded that she hasn't arrived yet - and my being a really impatient person by nature isn't helping. I also have thought I was in labor a few times over the past few days, but it always subsides. I think now she's just messin' with me.