Why one should (not?) read birthing books before bed.

I've been reading through my Hypnobirthing book (this is the method we also used when Owen was born, more on Hypnobirthing in a later post) before I go to bed each night. Along with the reading comes a lot of practice with different types of breathing and a lot of visualization and relaxation exercises. Which, obviously, really gets you thinking about the actual event of giving birth.

So I guess I shouldn't be surprised when last night I had a very vivid dream about the birthing of this baby. On the one hand, this is a great thing, as it was a really good dream, and hopefully a sign that some of what I'm reading and practicing is coming back to me and will really help me out on the birth day. On the other hand, I woke up this morning feeling... like I'd just had a baby. I was exhausted. And emotional.

But I also woke up with a new excitement that I haven't felt just yet in this pregnancy. Eric and I were talking yesterday about the fact that this is actually going to happen. It's no longer just about getting the house in order, and getting the baby's room ready and getting through these last 2 months of bed rest. The past months have been so full of thoughts of keeping this baby IN, that it's seriously a major switch to start thinking of her actually coming out in less than 8 weeks.

Good thing Eric and Owen are out of town all weekend so I can spend all this free time painting and doing laundry and shopping for the baby. Just kidding. Although mom and I may make a trip to Babies R Us tomorrow (more electric scooter shopping!) to pick up a few key essentials (like a mattress for the crib) that we have yet to get. I think I'll feel much more relaxed once I know I have everything I need in the house. Actually, I probably won't feel relaxed until the baby is in the house, safe and sound.

Ooh, I also wanted to share that as of this week there have been more than 5,000 pageviews of this little blog of mine. Given that this is the 59th post, I'm happy to know that people are actually reading about this crazy summer we've had. I know many blogs get twice that many hits in a single day, but that wasn't ever really my goal. Even if all of my readers are my family and friends just wanting to catch up on how we're doing, I'm glad that it has served that purpose!

A contributing member of society (or at least of this family).

I might have, over the course of the last few months, watched about 2 seasons worth of HGTV's Clean House on Hulu (thank GOD for Hulu). It's like a much-scaled-back version of Hoarders, where a team of pretty obnoxious TV personalities go in and clean the overwhelming clutter out of people's houses and leave them totally organized. I've decided that I would love to do this for people. I love getting rid of JUNK. It's the organizing part that I sometimes skimp out on in our house.

Until now.

When we moved out of the old house we took probably 2 full carloads of stuff (well, friends Kristie and Larry ended up actually hauling most of it for us!) to Salvation Army to donate. And a great deal of that haul was clothes we no longer wore/needed. My task this past week has been to finally clean the master bedroom upstairs ("clean" meaning sit on the floor and go through a few boxes a day of clothes we deposited there when we moved and haven't touched since). And after emptying out all of the boxes and putting clothes in dressers and closets (finally!), we filled FOUR more boxes of clothes to donate over the past few days. Where is all this clothing coming from? Props to my husband for finally giving up probably 40 old race t-shirts that he never wore, and some out-of-style dress shirts and pants. But it doesn't explain the 2 boxes that I contributed after what I had already weeded out before the move. Or the fact that my closet and giant dresser and cedar chest are all still FULL of clothes. Yikes.

And while I am unable to lift boxes, paint, haul things up and down the stairs, etc. I am able to sit around and do this:

A big shout out to the Real Simple line of closet organizers at Bed Bath and Beyond. They hold a TON of stuff and appear to actually be durable and well-made. And yeah, the one hanging on the right is actually full top to bottom with scarves. I like scarves. A lot.

I mean. They're so PRETTY.

Uh, anyway. It is nice to feel like I accomplished something over the past week. Eric is cranking away on the baby's room (crib is put together! Chandelier and dimmer are installed! Antique dresser is in the garage with 2 coats of primer and awaiting a coat of paint!), and making the minor repairs to the walls upstairs so we can get started painting up there. I am hoping to recruit some parent/sibling assistance in painting up there this weekend while Eric is at Cross Country camp. He is in desperate need of a break from painting. Like. We might be bordering on painting-induced-nervous-breakdown. The up-side is that he's gotten REALLY good at patching and spackle-ing (how in the heck do you spell that?). The bad news is that he's probably never going to want to do it again. Ever. I hope he knows how grateful I am for all of his hard work on his "summer vacation" this year! xoxo.

32 weeks and a mostly reassuring appointment.

This week is my 14th week of bed rest. And the 32nd week of this pregnancy. It's also already the middle of August and we have so much planning and preparation still to do! This third trimester really snuck up on us - back at 18 weeks when I was taken off work and put on bed rest it seemed like the fall would never get here. But today I am wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and the air conditioning is off, with a nice breeze blowing through the house. So I am feeling more and more like fall is just around the corner (although I'm sure we're still in for many more days of sweltering heat yet this summer, as it is still August in Michigan).

At today's appointment with Dr. Murphy (the maternal/fetal specialist) I was really hoping for some reassurance that my level of activity in the last month hasn't changed anything in terms of, well, my cervix. Turns out that after 30 weeks, they don't even measure cervical length (talk about a weird thing to be disappointed about - most people probably don't actually want that particular kind of invasive ultrasound). Mostly because it's hard to get an accurate measurement at this point, but also because even if it was looking like I was at risk for going into labor - at this point there's not much they would do other than send me home and keep me on bed rest, which is what I'm doing anyway.

Baby girl looked great today, though. Everything is measuring perfectly - she weighs about 4 1/2 pounds and heart rate and all bone/head/heart measurements were right on track. Which is always nice to hear. The bad news is that she's getting so big that I can absolutely no longer lie on my back. I nearly passed out again during the ultrasound due to her compressing that big vena cava vein and cutting off my circulation to the point of sweating, light-headed dizziness. Fun. But Jori the tech was, as always, really great and did the rest of the ultrasound with me laying on my side with a damp cloth on my forehead, and everything was fine. Here's a 3D photo of today's scan. I seriously hope she grows into that McMillan nose.

If you're not used to looking at 3D images of babies in the womb (apparently this is not something most people see as regularly as we do) what you're looking at is the baby's face on the top half with her little hand sideways across her mouth and the bottom of her face. She refused to move that hand for the few minutes we were trying to get a photo, so this was the best we could do.

I was glad to hear that Dr. Murphy wasn't super concerned about the lower back pain and cramping I've had off and on (mostly Tuesday night and Wednesday morning). But she did very clearly tell me that if it comes back and lasts for more than 2 hours to go to Labor and Delivery to be checked out. So we will be keeping an eye on that.

I also now officially have an appointment, exactly 4 weeks from today, to get the cerclage removed! I am both thrilled and terrified at the prospect. Thrilled because it means we're that much closer to meeting this baby girl, and terrified because of the off chance that it could mean another epidural and OR procedure. Turns out most of the time it can be done outpatient with a couple hours of monitoring afterwards (she described it as usually feeling like a REALLY uncomfortable pap smear). But sometimes tissue can grow around the stitch, making it impossible to easily remove, requiring the whole epidural, all-day in the hospital, operational-procedure-gig to get it out. Lord. I do NOT want to go through that again. Is it bad that I'm more afraid of that than labor? Cause I am.

In the meantime I am making lots of lists. A list for my brother of all the baby things I've lent him for his son that I'm going to need back. A list for some resale or mom-to-mom shopping once the stitch comes out. A list for Babies R Us for those items that you just need NEW when you have a new baby. And the ever-growing list of things I'd ideally like to have done around here before the baby arrives. Eric is checking off one right now by getting the first coat of paint in the kitchen. Fingers crossed we can crank out painting our room and bathroom upstairs within the next month so we can actually move into our room before baby gets here!

Single-parenting on a busy weekend.

This weekend was our annual camping trip with our friends, where we tube down the Rifle River consuming copious amounts of cheap beer and junk food along the way. I would have killed to be there this year. A totally mindless, fun-filled weekend of camping with friends I feel like I never see anymore would have been a nice reprieve from life on the couch. Next year - sign me up Jon, I'm totally there.

But my being on bed rest shouldn't deny Eric the opportunity to spend the weekend on the river. He has worked his skinny ass off this summer, and he deserved a couple days away from home improvement and childcare duties. Which meant that I was single-parenting for the weekend. Only I wasn't really. Owen and I ended up staying with my parents Friday and Saturday nights. And we spent most of the day Saturday over at Jan's for cousin Lindsey's (home visiting from Taiwan!) party, which means Owen had about 20 people following him around and loving him all day Saturday (attention which he happily ate right up).

The problem with having cousins who are more like sisters and who I hardly ever see because three of them live in Taiwan, Philadelphia and New York, is that when all THREE are in town at the same time, I can't really stay on my couch all weekend (don't tell my midwife). There was a manicure in there. Pool time Friday afternoon. Drinks (Vernors for me) at Nana's Friday night. And of course hanging out at the party all day Saturday. And while all I did at all these events was sit, I was still so totally exhausted Sunday afternoon that when Owen went down for his nap, we ALL went down for a nap, and it ranks up there as one of the best naps of my life.

I'm going to behave myself the rest of this week until my check-in with the specialist on Thursday morning, where they'll do a big ultrasound and check all the baby's measurements again and make sure the stitch still looks good. I can't WAIT. After seeing her and being reassured every 2 weeks, this last month stretch of no ultrasound seems so long!

So, thanks to my cousins for a fantastic weekend, I miss and love you all. And thanks to my parents (from both Eric and I) for taking care of Owen (and me) all weekend. Their summer has been impacted more than most this year with all the extra hours/days/weeks they've put in helping us with the house and with Owen, and we are more grateful than we could ever say.

Happy Monday!

The time I passed out at the doctor's office.

My appointment with Trish the midwife went great yesterday. She might have estimated that the baby already weighs over 4 pounds. I'm going to try not to dwell on that fact (or the fact that at 6 weeks preterm, Owen already weighed 6 lbs 6 oz when he was born), because I'm slightly terrified of giving birth to an 11 pound baby.

Heartbeat was great. My measurements are great. She even had a good chuckle when she lifted up my shirt and could clearly see the giant bulge on my right side. Some days it's more noticeable than others. Yesterday it was ridiculous.

The appointment went downhill when it was time for my progesterone injection. I actually took Owen up to school this morning so Eric could get a jump start on the baby's room. And I didn't eat before I left the house, so I grabbed a chocolate chip muffin and a decaf soy latte from Bigby on my way home (insert joke about why baby is so huge here). Well apparently there wasn't enough in that muffin to sustain me as well as my usual oatmeal with blueberries and walnuts does (shocking).

Top that off with the fact that it was a new nurse giving me the injection (my usual lady wasn't in the office today). Top THAT off with the fact that this injection is already notorious for being gruesome (large needle, painful serum), which this new nurse made sure to tell me more than once (as if this was my first time).

I mean, she was a real nice lady. But this injection is just a bear. And for whatever reason it took a loooong time - much longer than usual. And it hurt much more than usual. And I felt like she was sort-of... jamming the needle around a bit. So towards the end of it I got all hot and sweaty and lightheaded and basically slumped over on the table (they have you lean/brace yourself on the exam table as it is while they give it).

So I basically passed out. They made me sit there for a good 20 minutes while they gave me some water, and took my blood pressure several times. It was still pretty low when I left, but I think I convinced them through my good-humored attitude and my ability to walk down the hall without falling down that I was, in fact, fine to drive myself home.

So. I will be sticking with Brenda the nurse for all future injections. I'll also be sure to eat a better breakfast on days I have to go in for this (and all days, I know, a fatty muffin is not a healthy breakfast), as my probably pretty low blood sugar was likely a major contributing factor.

Latest Obsession:

We cannot stop drinking Whole Foods' (or as we lovingly call it: Whole Paycheck's) "all natural" sodas. I mean. They're still full of sugar. But it's at least cane sugar not high fructose corn syrup. And they're all caffeine free with natural flavors so I feel okay about having one a day as a sweet treat. The Orange Creme Soda and Cherry Vanilla Creme Soda are the current favorites. Delicious!

Sneak Peek!

Eric hung the chandelier in the baby's room today. He was less-than-thrilled about the project, as it entailed lots of dainty little pieces being meticulously strung up from the already-hanging chandelier. This is just the beginning of the project - note the really "super-excited-to-be-doing-this" look on his face.

But I can tell you that now that it's up and completed that it is FANTASTIC. I wish it was in the dining room it's so pretty! We'll put up nursery photos once it's all pulled together... Hopefully in about a week or two...

We also purchased some awesome new pieces from an Oxford woman that refinishes old furniture last night... More on these new cool additions once we get them in the house tonight!

The Hotel Henry Ford and Some Midwife Love

Eric and I went on our tour of the hospital last night, and now we are totally ready to have this baby. Well, not TOTALLY ready, but much more so than we were. There's nothing quite like walking through (or being pushed through in a wheelchair, in my case) the rooms in which you will give birth to sort-of shock you into reality that this baby is coming real soon.

We are psyched out of our minds to be delivering at the Henry Ford West Bloomfield Hospital (fair warning, the rest of this post may read like an advertisement for the hospital). We delivered Owen at Providence Southfield, and while it was a great experience, thanks to my fantastic midwife and the amazing NICU nurses, it pales in comparison with the newly remodeled HFWB. And I thank my midwife, Trish, for the fact that we are now at Henry Ford, as we followed her when she left Providence to work for Henry Ford right after Owen was born.

We originally chose Providence and Trish's practice because of the Alternative Birthing Center (ABC) at the Southfield hospital. I knew I wanted a natural, non-invasive, midwife-attended birth, and very few hospitals in the area were able to offer that the way the ABC did. Sadly, with Owen arriving 6 weeks early, we didn't even get to use the ABC as we were considered "high risk" and delivered in the regular Labor and Delivery unit (although still, thankfully, attended by my midwife, not a random physician).

But the beauty of HFWB is that there's no separate unit for those looking to have a natural birthing experience. It's all one unit, one floor, one team. If you are a midwife patient, you checked-in, triaged, and cared for by the midwife on duty. The "on duty" is the best part - because there is always a midwife on the floor (vs. at Providence where we were cared for by residents until the midwife "on-call" arrived at the hospital, several hours after we arrived). And given that last night at the tour we were able to meet all of the other midwives, I now have faces and names for each of the lovely women who may be present at the birth, which is so comforting. Even more comforting is how nice and friendly and cool they all were. The main theme of our tour (led by a few of the midwives), was that they are fully supportive of any request we may make and of our birthing preferences, so long as they feel it's safe for mom and baby. For me, this means not being hooked up to anything. No IV or port. No fetal monitor strapped around my belly the whole time. The ability to get up and move around uninhibited. Since my trouble-making boy arrived so early, and my water broke so early, I was put on IV antibiotics and saline as soon as I walked in the door. I also had a constant fetal monitor the whole time, meaning I was pretty much chained to the bed, which made me super buhjighetty. We were, of course, totally cool with it, since we were high-risk and things happened so early and it was my midwife who suggested the course of action for mine and Owen's safety. But my hopes for this delivery are to forego all of that and be "unattached" for the majority of the labor and delivery!

When I was pregnant with Owen we actually switched over to a midwife when I was 30 weeks pregnant. I just wasn't feeling the love with the practice I was at - I saw a different doctor at every appointment, none of them knew me by name, and I felt like none of them really cared all that much about my birth preferences (or me, for that matter). So we switched to a practice of midwives. I only had 2 appointments with Trish before I went into labor with Owen, but when she showed up at the hospital that day, I was completely comfortable with her. There is just something different about midwives. Something more personable and approachable and, for me at least, more comforting. I was instantly at-ease with the women we met last night and will be thrilled with whomever attends the birth of this baby (although we are obviously hoping that Trish is the one on duty the day we deliver)!

A few quick notes about the hospital that have me psyched:

• The rooms are pretty. Like, they feel less like hospital rooms and more like hotel rooms with some medical equipment in them. They also all each have private bathrooms with bath tubs and showers.

• The NICU is amazing. Clearly we are hoping to not ever see the inside of the NICU again, but wow - it was so great (and it's IN the L&D unit, right down the hall). Owen was in the NICU for 8 days at Providence. And while they took INCREDIBLY good care of him, the NICU was one big room with about a dozen isolettes all lined up along the walls. At HFWB each baby has their own room. With a couch/bed so that you (or your spouse) can sleep in the room with the baby. Someone can be with the baby at all times, instead of a few visits a day, which was how we had to deal with our first few days with Owen, which was rough, to say the least.

• Each room has a new flat-screen TV. Yes, I am excited about that.

• The couch-beds for the dads in the delivery and recovery rooms convert to lay flat, and roll right over next to mom's bed, and are the same height, meaning that mom and dad can sleep next to each other, basically in the same bed, in the early stages of labor and/or once the baby is born. Eric is thrilled about this, as he basically slept on the floor of my room after we had Owen.

• The food at the hospital is actually really good food. We know this from when I was in for the cerclage and we ordered dinner (it's basically a room-service system, you call up and order what you want, and they bring it to you, up to 4 times a day). We had some pretty delicious veggie reubens that I definitely wouldn't mind having again.

• After delivery they move you down the hall to sort-of a "recovery" wing, where there aren't neighboring rooms with women in active labor, so it's much quieter and calmer. And there is a long couch-bed for dads/kids to stay the night. There's also a kick-ass play room for siblings right down the hall.

• And to top it off, the building is LEED certified.

So yeah, it was pretty great. After the tours there were a few different speakers talking about the hospital amenities, pediatricians, carseat safety, etc. Of course, being saavy parents who have gone through this before, we totally blew-off this part of the night and took the opportunity to go have dinner at a RESTAURANT before going to pick up Owen from my parents house. And while the food wasn't fantastic, it was nice to be out amongst the people for an evening!

Goal for the weekend: Find birthing books!

A trip to daycare and some new-baby nostalgia.

Yesterday I went with Eric up to Owen's "school" to pick him up. It was the first time I'd been up there in about 3 months. I was amazed at how much bigger all of his friends looked to me after that short period - made me realize that in some ways it really has been SO LONG since I've been off work. Everyone seems to be having great summers, and it was nice to catch up with a few of the mom's in Owen's class.

The trip up there also made me appreciate that Eric drops him off and picks him up every day. When I was working it was so convenient, as his daycare is on the county campus with me, less than a mile from my office. But now that I'm off, Eric is making the trek from Clawson to Pontiac twice a day (which is better than Hazel Park to Pontiac, but still). We decided to keep him in school this summer because I can't really be running around after him all day long, and because he loves his school and his friends, and we didn't want to deny him that for the summer. And, obviously, we (Eric) can get a lot more done around here when Owen isn't always trying to "help" him.

And while in some ways it's been a long three months, in other ways it has totally flown by, as I am suddenly freaking out daily about the fact that this baby is coming in a couple short months and 1.) I can't find any of my birthing books, 2.) Her room is nowhere near being completed, 3.) We have NO idea what we want to name her, and 4.) OMG am I ready to do the whole labor/delivery thing AGAIN? I'm not sure which is worse. With baby #1 you have no idea what to expect, so you are totally scared, but also blissfully ignorant. With baby #2 you know exactly what to expect, so there's not that scary element of surprise in terms of pain and process, but, that means, I am well aware of the PAIN and the PROCESS of delivery. Time to start psyching myself up!

You know what helps? These:

I mean. Look at those TOES.

Damn, he was a cute baby. Six weeks early and totally swollen in this pic, but CUTE.

Nothing like a little baby nostalgia to remind you how totally worth it it all is.